I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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