So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize