im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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