you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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