Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
