On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
