Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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