Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
