So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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