what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
