After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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