Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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