took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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