ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
