its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
