Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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