Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize