well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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