i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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