My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
