wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i drank out of a bidet.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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