So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize
