I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
