guys are only as good as the porn they watch
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
