you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
