YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i need some magic done to my vagina
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
