East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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