Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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