Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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