my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
