You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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