so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
