if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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