Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
