just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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