Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
