God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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