Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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