Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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