508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
