we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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