She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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