brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
