that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So vagazzling was a success
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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