Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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