There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Drunk is not a location!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
