My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize