Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish you could order shots online.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
