I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
