I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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