thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My vagina just clenched in fear
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
