Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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