And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
