In the future we'll all be gay
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My ass is underappreciated
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
