I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
