remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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