dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
