Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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