I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
