Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
